As the men settled themselves, Hank turned to Jim.
“Since you were holding the microphone, you can explain first.”
Jim nodded. “Thank you, officer. You see, as president of the members’ committee, I am required to chair the once-a-year special meeting of the members during which proposals for improvements, which have been suggested by residents over the past year, are presented. This year, because so many ideas were put forward, it was decided by the council to hold a vote a week before the meeting to narrow down the number to five presentations.”
“And there was sure a lot of secretive lobbying going on before the vote,” snarled Paul, “even by some members of council whose names I will not mention.”
“Okay, Paul, simmer down. Your turn’s coming next,” said Hank. “Continue, please Jim.”
“Well, that’s when the fracas began. Paul, here, jumped up shouting about voter unfairness and attempted to grab the microphone from me; but because I was in charge, I was not prepared to relinquish it. Even though our meetings are not as formal as a regular business, we still follow certain rules of procedure for conducting these meetings.”
Corporal Hank interceded, “Okay Jim, now let’s hear Paul’s side of the story.”
“Well, Corporal, the thing is that Jim has not told the whole story. Yes, he said I was trying to grab the microphone, but there’s more than one issue here. The first is that Jim’s speaking time was up, and yet he continued on and on. He does tend to be a long-winded you know what, but this time he was really ragging the puck, and for good reason. You see, I know for a fact that a majority of council members are in favour of one of the proposals for an on-site swimming pool. This project would entail taking out a mortgage of over 40k. In order to pay for this, the monthly mortgage fee would be added to our rents, even though there are residents who would never use a pool.”
“But the project would be pro-rated according to each resident’s financial situation,” mumbled Jim. “We hadn’t as yet discussed the details.”
Paul looked across at Jim in disgust. “Do you realize the implications of what you just said? What would happen if and when this pool was built? The possibility that some residents who paid more than the others, might feel they deserved more privileges? C,mon Jim get real! This is a retirement home, not an exclusive seniors’ retreat!”
At this point, Hank decided he’d heard enough. This was an issue that was going to require a lot more discussion between the committee and the residents. He cleared his throat. “Well, Jim and Paul, as a police officer, I must uphold the law, so I’m going to ask each of you if you wish to press assault charges against one another?”
Jim and Paul, abashed, shook their heads. ”No,” they replied. (Although it appeared that one consent was more firmly stated than the other.)
“Good. Now there’s one more matter to resolve, and that is the overturned furniture and one broken lamp. That is something you will have to discuss with management, and they will decide whether to charge you for damage to property.”
As the two officers rose and turned to leave, Constable Hawkins turned to Paul and asked, “Just out of curiosity, did you have a suggestion for a project?”
“Yes sir. I intended on proposing a fish pond.”
“A fish pond,” Constable Hawkins repeated. The two officers left abruptly, striding hurriedly towards their vehicles, hoping they could contain their laughter ‘til they were inside.
THE END
