It is hard to describe a psychotic attack. Suffice to say that I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. As the day progressed, I was getting more and more tired and more and more confused and frightened. Luckily there was one voice that transcended all the others. It was a Spirit friend. It talked to me all the time. As I listened and concentrated on it, I was able to go on and maintain my sanity.
Finally, I had the presence of mind to call my friends and ask them if I could come over. They agreed. There were a couple from my Spiritual Church. They knew at once that I was going through something that they couldn’t handle and called 9-1-1. I went to the hospital. They put me in a psychiatric unit. The doctors talked to me and gave me some medication. In a few days I became normal again and was released from the hospital.
My life had been a blur of Negative attacks – each one more frightening than the last. I dreaded them. I was terrified of them. I lived my life in and out of hospitals. Each time the doctors had given me some medication and released me. My hospital stays sometime lasted for several weeks. I used to call the Psychiatric Hospital my second home. I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and psychotic episodes. Later it was changed to Schizophrenia. The medication was God-given. It quieted my mind. It stopped the voices. It brought me back to normal. But the period of normalcy didn’t last long. Eventually the medication stopped working and the psychosis returned.
I was terrified what my future was going to be like. As long as my mother was alive I was assured of a home and care. She, though at first puzzled by my behavior, was my strong support. She never failed me. But what about after?
I didn’t need to worry. God was taking care of me. One of my doctors put me on a new medication that was short of miraculous. It quieted my symptoms. Though it did not cured me completely, it subdued the voices and stopped all the craziness. For about twenty years, though I was still attacked by the Negative Spirits, I was able to recognized them and handle them.
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But the rewards of the communication with Spirits far outweighed the suffering. In between the attacks I was able to communicate with Spirit friends, either in Church, or on my own. I will give a few examples with my family:
My grandmother:
Once when I was in a meditation circle I saw my grandmother. She looked just like she did on the day she died. She didn’t stay still, but she kept moving around the Church. When it was my turn the medium said: “Your grandmother is all over the place and you can see her.” The medium kept talking, but I was not listening. I was too exited seeing my grandmother and listening to her. This experience not only proved the existence of Spirits, but also proved to me that I can perceived them on my own.
