My New List

Today I caught a glimpse of
myself
out of the corner of my left eye
the one I wink with
I used to say
“What you get is what you see.”

This time though
I
decided
instead
to make a scientific list
of all my failings

So
I
sought input from
my family and friends
and the guy who runs the counter
at Shorty’s Snacks and Supplies

I’m there a lot

Some mentioned one thing
some another. Turns out
I
needed three sheets of paper
Three and a half
to get it all down

My second cousin
made it a point to telephone
me
long distance from a land line no less
and pay for it
himself