This is story #39 in the series “Where Exactly is Home?”. The author recommends you read them in order.
Introduction:
“Where Exactly is Home?” follows the story of my parents, my two younger brothers and me, Susan, who emigrated from war-battered Britain, in the mid-late 1950’s, to Southern Rhodesia, Africa.
The effects of this move on our family were huge, as we struggled to adapt to such a different way of life. Only after further upheaval, and more long-distance travelling, did our family eventually settle in the city of Salisbury, Rhodesia.
However, we did not know then that we would not remain there for the rest of our lives, either.
When the family first went to Africa, I, Susan, was 9 years old. My two brothers, John and Peter, were almost 7 and 4, respectively.
Nowadays, as seniors, John and Peter live in England. I live in Canada. Throughout our lives, we have both benefitted from, and suffered because of, our somewhat unusual childhood.
I, for one, still sometimes ask myself which country represents home to me.
This is a series of stories under the title “Where Exactly is Home?” – I recommend you read them in order, starting with story #1.
39. John’s Unexpected Decision
Our family of five was together for two or three weeks in August of 1968. This was quite the surprise to all of us. I was never quite sure if I was responsible for John’s decision to return to Africa, albeit briefly, for a holiday.
Having left Italy and France, I didn’t want to leave Europe without saying goodbye to my brother John, my grandmother, my aunt, and uncle, all of whom lived in different cities in England. So, I didn’t fly home to Africa from Paris. Instead, I took the ferry across the English Channel yet again, and rushed round the southern part of England, by train, to visit the people I wanted to see before I left for good. How many years would go past till I next saw them? Home was 6000 miles from England, and I didn’t have the money for frequent trips across the ocean.
When I went to visit John, he was happy and settled. He loved what he was doing. He was in residence in Harwell, but in September he was due to start a degree in Electronics at Southampton University. He had a few weeks to go till he was required to be there. As far as I know, he hadn’t experienced any feelings of homesickness since he had left home, even though his life had changed so much. However, he surprised me by announcing, out of the blue, that he was going to fly to Rhodesia, too! What? Why? I didn’t know if my arrival had made him feel homesick, or what. I would be amazed if that were so since he had always been very independent. I suspected that he liked the idea of seeing the girlfriend he had left behind, though. I didn’t think he had the same yearning for seeing the family, but maybe this, too, was part of his reasoning. Did he want to show everyone how grown up he was, living on his own in England? I don’t think so. We already knew this from his letters. I certainly knew that I was proud of how much I had changed and grown! I could hardly wait to show my parents the new me, now self-assured in many ways, and so different from the old me, or so I thought. In some selfish way, I felt that John’s decision to return to Africa would detract from my own. It was almost as if he had pipped me at the post yet again, though I am sure that was not his intention.
