Martha could still hear the calm, quiet voice of the parish priest as he told her that Hedley’s ship had been lost in a terrible storm on its return voyage from the Orient.
‘You are young and strong, my child. You will get over this in time.’ But Martha knew even then that she would never get over Hedley. They had been companions and best friends practically from the time they learned to walk and they had been so much in love.
That had been the start of her troubles, just ten weeks after her wedding. If only she had followed her heart after that incident.
The life of a young widow in turn-of-the-century Scotland was no easy lot. Her brother James and family had moved in with their aging parents and taken over the family farm.
Martha was a good seamstress and could manage to support herself if she was careful with her money. Still, she had to fight off the advances of men wanting quick dalliances or a clandestine rendezvous. She tried to disguise her beauty by dressing and acting as much like an old woman as possible.
Night after night she cried herself to sleep, hating the indignities that a woman alone must suffer. When she did sleep, she was haunted by nightmares of encountering a man whom she would be unable to fend off.
Her heart had been set on entering a convent after losing Hedley. Well-meaning friends and family had persuaded her otherwise, saying she was young, with no children, and could still find a good husband. But Martha knew in her heart that what she wanted was the quiet peaceful life which could only be found in a sheltered cloister. She would never love another man. She was torn between satisfying her own inner needs and trying to live up to what she felt others expected of her. In the end, she tried to please others, as she had always done. If only she had followed her heart instead.
Daisy’s letter, inviting Martha to join her in her new home in Upper Canada had seemed like the answer to her prayers. Daisy’s husband, a sailor, spent most of his time at sea. With five young children, and another on the way, Daisy was finding it hard to cope.
Martha sold the little house that she and Hedley had bought, finally letting go of all their hopes and dreams. She secured passage on a ship bound for Canada. It seemed like the right thing to do. She could help Daisy with the children and still take in enough sewing to support herself. Surely, it would be the best of both worlds.
Had she known Daisy’s real reason, Martha would never have come. In less than a week, she realized that marriage and motherhood had not changed her sister at all. She was still the same selfish, self-centered person she had always been. The same 15-year-old beauty who had lured her cousin into the barn to satisfy her curiosity about boys. Martha could remember that day as clearly as if it was yesterday.
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