All my life, with absolutely no musical background, I have yearned to play a musical instrument, especially the banjo. By chance I mentioned this to John, my hiking partner. He knew just the person who could teach me. And so, for the past 2 years, a retired minister has come to my house once a week for 2 hours in the evening to instruct me, for free! My musical talent is limited, but during this time I have learned the chords to about 100 songs that I like to sing. However, I decide during the evening that I need a break from the lessons and tell my banjo teacher that I am putting the weekly lessons on hold for a while. It wasn’t a spur of the moment decision as I was becoming exhausted by this weekly routine. I still intend to practise on my own when the mood hits me, or to fill empty spaces in my afternoons.
After watching the evening news and one or two boring TV programmes, I turn in early for the night, around 7:30, but as usual become absorbed in one of my biographies. The latest chapter of Mark Antony and his mistress, Cleopatra, seemed to indicate that they were living a much more exciting life than I am, not that I would have traded mine for theirs .Constant wars, vicious battles, intrigue, betrayal, opulent, extravagant feasting orgies filled their days. They were both self-centred, power-hungry, scheming individuals living during a barbaric, brutal period of history. They both ended up killing themselves rather than face up to an almost worst fate in store for them after losing power. Perhaps a mundane existence is preferable, after all, to towering ambition that leads to tragic ends. A love of biographies does give one a different perspective on life.
Gradually, as my mind replays the day I begin to drift off, only to be reminded that Vimy is softly whimpering at the foot of my bed. I know the drill. She is asking for permission to join me in my bed so that she can snuggle down at my feet. This tells me that we all need some assurance that we are not alone in this world- that we depend on each other for comfort, and some love. My dog also reminds me daily that we really do matter to others even when life has slowed to a crawl. This helps me to ignore despondent thoughts, and just accept that purposeful, fulfilling daily living, once enjoyed in the fast lane, has now passed me by. Elderly people who live alone must have the capacity and energy to deal with this, without always depending on someone else. It can be frustrating, worrisome, and very stressful, especially when vital household repairs are required or medical problems arise. In order to live alone independently, we must learn to stand tall, get a grip, and play the cards we are dealt.
The next thing I know it is 5:30 a.m. Time to rise and face another day. Perhaps a mostly mundane existence is not too bad after all, especially when I can practise singing songs while strumming my 5-string banjo. It helps to have Vimy lounging close by, because she would surely agree that soft banjo music helps to fill a void.
