“The blanket’s too small,” said Amanda, straight-faced.
Slowly and carefully, like a human sloth, I ascended the ladder and stepped onto the first branch. My running shoes gave me a little traction, but I wished for much more. I remembered the old climber’s adage: never look down, but looking up didn’t give me much confidence either.
After twelve minutes of climbing, I had reached my limit. Baby was sitting a few feet above me. Being lighter, he could use the smaller, higher branches.
“Hello, Baby,” I said, trying to sound friendly.
He blinked and stared at me enigmatically.
“Mrs. Petterson is worried about you.”
Blink. Stare.
“You must be getting hungry. Why don’t you come down and get something to eat?” I had deliberately not brought food with me because I did not want him to think that he could get room service here in his penthouse.
“Baby, you must come down,” I said sternly.
“Meow,” he replied. It has always amazed me how cats, with their one word vocabulary, can express so many different ideas by variety of tone. I had tried friendliness, concern, and authority with no result and I was running out of tones.
My arms and legs were becoming tired and stiff from clinging to and balancing on the springy branches. Falstaff says: “The better part of valour is discretion:” similarly, the better part of common sense may be the admission of defeat. “Okay, Baby, you win.”
I began my descent, but my foot slipped. From below I heard an anticipatory gasp and I glanced down at the upturned faces. I regained my balance, however, and continued my slow, careful climb down. Sorry to disappoint you, folks.
Then a miracle happened: Baby began to follow me! Had he decided that he had established the superiority of feline over human? Or was he just hungry or bored? When I set foot on the ladder, he scurried to the other side of the tree trunk and skittered to the ground, then strolled to the house and through his cat door like a star exiting a stage. A few of the neighbours applauded and someone removed the ladder.
Mrs. Petterson thanked me and I thanked Hank and Amanda, who were folding the blanket. I also waived my fee because I hadn’t done anything except to add another unglamorous case to my files.
